Something shitty happened today. I had a knock back from Sydney Uni to study for my Masters in Marine Science & Management. It was a goal I set late last year, during Covid, whilst I was visioning my dreams and goals for 2021. I’d been chatting to a friend at a BBQ about doing some more study and she had started this Marine Science course at the beginning of 2020. “Hey, come and join me on it, it would be so great to study together…”. I had a Masters in my sights long term but I hadn’t really planned to do it so soon. But, I’ve been saying YES to so many things in the last 3 years and it was just too good an opportunity to pass up. And I have dreamed of studying on the very beautiful Sydney Uni campus for a while so it seemed destined to be.
Not so. Today they rejected my application, my previous qualifications did not meet the entry requirements. I did not meet the entry requirements.
Shit! (excuse my bad language but, shit!)
So, I found myself feeling very flat, sad, disappointed, unloved and embarrassed. I’ve been telling people, “I’m so excited, I’m going to be studying for my Masters this year”. I’ve been genuinely really excited. My brain was cycling around; feeling disappointed, shamed, hurt, and then frustrated after leaping through hoops to find all to transcripts of my previous studies. What a waste of time. Do I really want to do this anyway? Should I go back and appeal? What more could I have done?
And in reflecting on this particular goal, I realised I had also been feeling a little scared. Ok, well a lot scared. About the huge workload I was potentially setting myself up for … I’ve just started my new Ocean Flow program and business and I have an exciting role as a Productivity Ninja helping corporates too. I wasn’t really sure how I was going to fit everything in. Just my eternal optimism and positivity was going to see me through….
I also realised this goal was tied so strongly to my longer term dreams that if felt initially like all the wheels had fallen off. If this doesn’t happen, then maybe my bigger dreams won’t too...
And now, an hour or two has passed since I received the email, and I’ve talked to that same friend and we batted it around, I’ve come to the conclusion, it’s just not the right time. It is not the end of that dream. There are many types of study I can pursue and eventually, a Masters might be where I end up. But it doesn’t have to be now. And it also doesn’t mean the rest of my bigger vision for the future is in any way less right or able to come to life, this is just a little course correction and it is probably, almost definitely, for the best.
So the moral to this story?
When we set up goals and dreams and set up timelines around them, we have to be prepared to pressure test them and commit to them. We sometimes might need to adjust course, navigate around obstacles, small or large, and figure out if we really are on the right journey right now or not. I know I want to do marine research and I can be involved in this area without a Masters, the Masters was not my end goal. I just need to find the right opportunity and fit it with my other, bigger goals for right now. Not the wrong goal just maybe a slightly different one.
And do you want to know the funny thing? I went straight to my vision board to remove this from my 2021 goals and dreams and I realised, I hadn’t even put it on my board! (manifestation failure?? maybe…)
Have you pressure tested your goals and dreams? Are they totally aligned? Are they really what you want? I’d love to hear your thoughts…